do u ever feel like..u need something so much, but u just cant find it..and u see it other places and just want that..feeling..so much that ud do anything. but there isnt anything u can do..

im not sad, im not upset, im not mad. im not..anything, really. im sorta spaced out. i cant laugh, cant smile, cant cry, cant yell. can barely talk. like tha thoughts r choking me. im off in my own world that i would do anything to get out of, but cant. tha doors already shut and locked. and i dont hav tha key.

but im looking. im still searching. but ive been searching for too long. i see other ppl happy. im happy for them. but im not happy for me. its like somethings wrong wit me. like it isnt rite for me. but i kno its rite for me. and soon i kno i can find somebody..i need somebody.

i jus hope i dont screw things up. ive had bad luck wit ery single 1 of them. all 8. it jus aint rite and ppl r always saying..it doesnt matter now..but it does. im not desperate. but id do anything..anything at all. i wanna hav that feeling. im not too young or not yet ready or any of that shit ive heard. im growing up. im ready for real life. not for hiding bhind my friends n fam. im ready to b me.

but am i good enough?